The I'm Not A Cactus Expert But I Know A Prick When I See One Tee from Unethical Threads is a heavyweight cotton graphic tee for anyone who's done pretending. The cactus just provides plausible deniability.
Honestly, yes. Just maybe don't wrap it in front of their parents. That's sort of the whole point of Unethical Threads. 100% cotton. Unisex fit S-2XL. DTG print. The front is blank so you can lure people in before they read what's behind you.
Heavyweight cotton, real ink, real regret energy. Your friend who shows up to brunch on May 6th in sunglasses, no appetite, swearing they'll never do that again. This tee is just the honest version of that cycle.
Your friend who orders tequila flights "for the table" then drinks all four. The coworker who brings a bottle of Casamigos to the office potluck. Is this a good gift for a tequila lover?. Will the print fade after washing?.
We put it on cotton. If you have to wonder whether the recipient can handle it, they can't. Get them a candle instead. If you've ever been the only person at the Cinco party who gets the irony, this is your uniform.
Honest, self-aware, and probably holding a Corona. Is this a good Cinco de Mayo gift?. Can I wear this on Cinco de Mayo?. Until now. Crew neck with DTG printing for color that outlasts your Cinco hangover.
Dark humor, heavyweight cotton, design on the back where your enemies can read it as you leave. Skip the gift card. Heavyweight cotton. Not see-through, not flimsy, and it doesn't feel like you're wearing a tissue.
Your mom plus tequila season. It's the kind of thing you wear when you've already made peace with who you are. It's about Cinco de Drinko, which is what happens when you celebrate Cinco de Mayo but replace the culture with tequila and poor decisions.
Heavyweight cotton, solid DTG print, and a life philosophy you can wear to the bar. People who think a shot of Patron counts as self-care. Is this shirt actually about drinking tequila instead of going to therapy?.
Heavyweight cotton. If you already laughed at this, just buy it. We made it for the first group. It's the real deal. The type whose humor gets them quietly removed from family text threads. This tee sits right in the overlap of "too soon" and "too perfect.".