People who made tequila a personality trait and stopped apologizing for it. Crew neck, because even tequila people have standards. Pair it with an actual bottle if you're feeling generous. Not even close.
No guessing sizes (S-4XL, relaxed fit). No wondering if they'll get it. They'll get it. They probably already live it. The Im Not Saying Im An Alcoholic But My Blood Type Is Margar-Ita Positive shirt says what your friends already know, printed on heavyweight cotton that holds up better than your liver will.
You showed up to the Cinco de Mayo party. This shirt is just putting that energy into words. The joke is on you, the wearer. That's not punching down. People respect the honesty. Is this a good Cinco de Mayo gift?.
Wear it, own it, watch the room split. It looks good there, honestly. They will not forget this one. Crew neck, classic cut. People who peak at barbecues and in group chats. The friend everyone's a little nervous to introduce to new people.
It says the quiet part out loud on heavyweight black cotton. You already know if this is for you. Cinco de Mayo parties have never been about historical accuracy, and this tee leans all the way into that.
The Ankle Monitors Are Sexy Tee is a backprint graphic tee from Unethical Threads for people who think the justice system's hottest accessory goes on your ankle. The design sits on the back of the shirt, so everyone behind you knows exactly where you stand on court-ordered jewelry.
Heavyweight cotton, DTG printed, and designed to make everyone behind you in line deeply uncomfortable. Walk into a room normal. Walk out legendary. Works especially well in waiting rooms, court-mandated classes, and family reunions where everyone already knows.
Who actually wears a Cinco De Mayo hangover shirt?. Unethical Threads made a Cinco De Mayo shirt for the people who celebrate like heroes and suffer like mortals. Heavyweight cotton, unisex fit, no apologies.
Heavyweight cotton, because at least your wardrobe choices can be sustainable. If you've ever described humanity's run as "good while it lasted," this is your uniform. You care about the planet. You just also have eyes.
Heavyweight cotton, graphic tee, maximum dismissive energy. You care about the earth, you just don't care about their lecture. It's pre-shrunk. Wash it hot, wash it cold, it holds its shape. People who recycle but draw the line at being guilt-tripped about it.