Black graphic tee, white text, zero subtlety. You know exactly what this is. It gets a laugh from strangers and a knowing nod from bartenders. Pair it with shorts you probably shouldn't still own and you've got a whole mood.
The Cinco de Drinko Sponsored By Bad Choices Black Tee is Unethical Threads' official uniform for anyone who treats May 5th less like a cultural celebration and more like a personal challenge. Heavyweight cotton.
Heavyweight cotton, dark joke, zero subtlety. This is the shirt for people who find their own mortality genuinely hilarious. If you've ever told a joke that cleared a room and felt proud about it, this is the shirt.
This one's for anyone who treats a 72-hour hold like a personality trait. Heavyweight cotton, graphic that doesn't fade, humor that probably should. Your friend who overshares at brunch. The person in the group chat who always takes it one step too far (and everyone loves them for it).
The Warning May Spontaneously Start Speaking Broken Spanish After 3 Margaritas White Tee from Unethical Threads is for everyone who's ever ordered "uno mas" and then tried to narrate their life story in what they believed was fluent Spanish.
The I'm Not A Cactus Expert But I Know A Prick When I See One Tee from Unethical Threads is a heavyweight cotton graphic tee for anyone who's done pretending. The cactus just provides plausible deniability.
Honestly, yes. Just maybe don't wrap it in front of their parents. That's sort of the whole point of Unethical Threads. 100% cotton. Unisex fit S-2XL. DTG print. The front is blank so you can lure people in before they read what's behind you.
Heavyweight cotton, real ink, real regret energy. Your friend who shows up to brunch on May 6th in sunglasses, no appetite, swearing they'll never do that again. This tee is just the honest version of that cycle.
Your friend who orders tequila flights "for the table" then drinks all four. The coworker who brings a bottle of Casamigos to the office potluck. Is this a good gift for a tequila lover?. Will the print fade after washing?.
We put it on cotton. If you have to wonder whether the recipient can handle it, they can't. Get them a candle instead. If you've ever been the only person at the Cinco party who gets the irony, this is your uniform.