A back print that lets everyone behind you know you take your baking (and your innuendos) seriously. Dad humor with just enough plausible deniability to wear around the in-laws. Skip it for anyone who needs the joke explained.
The Earth Is Fine You're The Problem Tee from Unethical Threads is a heavyweight cotton graphic tee for anyone who's done pretending the planet's biggest issue isn't us. Unisex fit, DTG printed, and blunt enough to save you the trouble of explaining your worldview at the cookout.
The I Love The Earth Thats Why I Bury My Bodies Here Tee is Unethical Threads at its most unhinged. This one is for anyone with strong opinions about both soil quality and podcast murder cases. If your gardening jokes have ever gotten nervous laughter, you already belong.
The My Liver Is On Vacation In The Icu After Cinco De Mayo Black Tee is Unethical Threads doing what we do best: saying the quiet part loud. People who treat Cinco De Mayo like a competitive sport. If you've ever woken up on May 6th wondering which organ to apologize to first, this one's for you.
This is not a subtle shirt. Almost certainly. That's sort of the point. People with a sense of humor and zero interest in playing it safe. You'll see this at tailgates, bachelor parties, and the kind of cookout where the host has strong opinions about charcoal.
You already know what this shirt is about. If that makes you uncomfortable, it's doing its job. DTG printed graphic that stays sharp and vibrant through the wash cycle gauntlet. Turn it inside out, wash cold, and it'll stay looking sharp.
People who made tequila a personality trait and stopped apologizing for it. Crew neck, because even tequila people have standards. Pair it with an actual bottle if you're feeling generous. Not even close.
No guessing sizes (S-4XL, relaxed fit). No wondering if they'll get it. They'll get it. They probably already live it. The Im Not Saying Im An Alcoholic But My Blood Type Is Margar-Ita Positive shirt says what your friends already know, printed on heavyweight cotton that holds up better than your liver will.
You showed up to the Cinco de Mayo party. This shirt is just putting that energy into words. The joke is on you, the wearer. That's not punching down. People respect the honesty. Is this a good Cinco de Mayo gift?.
Wear it, own it, watch the room split. It looks good there, honestly. They will not forget this one. Crew neck, classic cut. People who peak at barbecues and in group chats. The friend everyone's a little nervous to introduce to new people.