No guessing sizes (S-4XL, relaxed fit). No wondering if they'll get it. They'll get it. They probably already live it. The Im Not Saying Im An Alcoholic But My Blood Type Is Margar-Ita Positive shirt says what your friends already know, printed on heavyweight cotton that holds up better than your liver will.
Wear it, own it, watch the room split. It looks good there, honestly. They will not forget this one. Crew neck, classic cut. People who peak at barbecues and in group chats. The friend everyone's a little nervous to introduce to new people.
Heavyweight cotton, graphic tee, maximum dismissive energy. You care about the earth, you just don't care about their lecture. It's pre-shrunk. Wash it hot, wash it cold, it holds its shape. People who recycle but draw the line at being guilt-tripped about it.
The Rock Your Cock Out Tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. A graphic tee with the design on the back, saying what you're too polite to say to anyone's face. Subtlety left the building and this shirt held the door open.
The Ankle Monitors Are Sexy Tee is a backprint graphic tee from Unethical Threads for people who think the justice system's hottest accessory goes on your ankle. The design sits on the back of the shirt, so everyone behind you knows exactly where you stand on court-ordered jewelry.
Heavyweight cotton, because at least your wardrobe choices can be sustainable. If you've ever described humanity's run as "good while it lasted," this is your uniform. You care about the planet. You just also have eyes.
The Cinco De Mayo More Like Cinco Go Die Yo White Tee is Unethical Threads' contribution to your May 5th wardrobe. It says what you're thinking while everyone else is pretending to care about margarita specials.
Heavyweight cotton, DTG printed, sizes S through 4XL. People who survived a Cinco de Mayo that required an apology text to their own body. This is honest reporting, not fashion. Is This a Good Cinco de Mayo Gift?.
Heavyweight cotton, real DTG print, and the kind of joke that makes your parole officer sigh. This is the gift you give when a gift card feels lazy and you want to prove you actually know the person.
The I'm Not A Cactus Expert But I Know A Prick When I See One Tee is Unethical Threads at peak passive-aggressive. Heavyweight cotton that feels substantial, not like a tissue paper situation. The design is printed on the back.