The Cinco De Mayo More Like Cinco Go Die Yo Black Tee is Unethical Threads saying what you're already thinking every May 5th. DTG printed on heavyweight cotton. This isn't a safe gift. It's an "I know you, and this is exactly your speed" gift.
If the title made you laugh, you're the target audience. 100% cotton. Unisex fit S-2XL. DTG print. That's the whole point. Crew neck for when you want to keep things classic while the graphic does the heavy lifting.
This is a funny margarita drinking shirt from Unethical Threads that announces your blood type as Margar-Ita Positive. The I'm Not Saying I'm An Alcoholic But My Blood Type Is Margar-Ita Positive Black Tee is for anyone whose liver has a longer rap sheet than their actual criminal record.
Black graphic tee, white text, zero subtlety. You know exactly what this is. It gets a laugh from strangers and a knowing nod from bartenders. Pair it with shorts you probably shouldn't still own and you've got a whole mood.
The Cinco de Drinko Sponsored By Bad Choices Black Tee is Unethical Threads' official uniform for anyone who treats May 5th less like a cultural celebration and more like a personal challenge. Heavyweight cotton.
Heavyweight cotton, dark joke, zero subtlety. This is the shirt for people who find their own mortality genuinely hilarious. If you've ever told a joke that cleared a room and felt proud about it, this is the shirt.
This one's for anyone who treats a 72-hour hold like a personality trait. Heavyweight cotton, graphic that doesn't fade, humor that probably should. Your friend who overshares at brunch. The person in the group chat who always takes it one step too far (and everyone loves them for it).
The I'm Not A Cactus Expert But I Know A Prick When I See One Tee from Unethical Threads is a heavyweight cotton graphic tee for anyone who's done pretending. The cactus just provides plausible deniability.
Honestly, yes. Just maybe don't wrap it in front of their parents. That's sort of the whole point of Unethical Threads. 100% cotton. Unisex fit S-2XL. DTG print. The front is blank so you can lure people in before they read what's behind you.
Heavyweight cotton, real ink, real regret energy. Your friend who shows up to brunch on May 6th in sunglasses, no appetite, swearing they'll never do that again. This tee is just the honest version of that cycle.