The My Liver Is On Vacation In The Icu After Cinco De Mayo Black Tee is Unethical Threads doing what we do best: saying the quiet part loud. People who treat Cinco De Mayo like a competitive sport. If you've ever woken up on May 6th wondering which organ to apologize to first, this one's for you.
This is not a subtle shirt. Almost certainly. That's sort of the point. People with a sense of humor and zero interest in playing it safe. You'll see this at tailgates, bachelor parties, and the kind of cookout where the host has strong opinions about charcoal.
Heavyweight cotton, graphic tee, maximum dismissive energy. You care about the earth, you just don't care about their lecture. It's pre-shrunk. Wash it hot, wash it cold, it holds its shape. People who recycle but draw the line at being guilt-tripped about it.
The I'm Not A Cactus Expert But I Know A Prick When I See One Tee is an Unethical Threads original for anyone who identifies pricks faster than succulents. You already know if this is for you. If you've ever been told "you didn't have to say that," this tee gets you.
If you've ever ordered a round nobody asked for and felt no guilt about it, this is your uniform. Your tequila might fade the night, but this graphic won't fade on you. It's cheaper than a bottle of Don Julio and way more honest than a gift card.
The Rock Your Cock Out Tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. A graphic tee with the design on the back, saying what you're too polite to say to anyone's face. Subtlety left the building and this shirt held the door open.
The Ankle Monitors Are Sexy Tee is a backprint graphic tee from Unethical Threads for people who think the justice system's hottest accessory goes on your ankle. The design sits on the back of the shirt, so everyone behind you knows exactly where you stand on court-ordered jewelry.
Heavyweight cotton, DTG printed, and designed to make everyone behind you in line deeply uncomfortable. Walk into a room normal. Walk out legendary. Works especially well in waiting rooms, court-mandated classes, and family reunions where everyone already knows.
Who actually wears a Cinco De Mayo hangover shirt?. Unethical Threads made a Cinco De Mayo shirt for the people who celebrate like heroes and suffer like mortals. Heavyweight cotton, unisex fit, no apologies.
Heavyweight cotton, because at least your wardrobe choices can be sustainable. If you've ever described humanity's run as "good while it lasted," this is your uniform. You care about the planet. You just also have eyes.