Heavyweight cotton, DTG printed, sizes S through 4XL. People who survived a Cinco de Mayo that required an apology text to their own body. This is honest reporting, not fashion. Is This a Good Cinco de Mayo Gift?.
Heavyweight cotton, real DTG print, and the kind of joke that makes your parole officer sigh. This is the gift you give when a gift card feels lazy and you want to prove you actually know the person.
Heavyweight cotton, DTG-printed, and way funnier than whatever excuse you were going to use. It's heavyweight cotton with a broken-in feel. Not stiff, not flimsy. The kind of shirt you grab first out of the drawer.
The I'm Not A Cactus Expert But I Know A Prick When I See One Tee is Unethical Threads at peak passive-aggressive. Heavyweight cotton that feels substantial, not like a tissue paper situation. The design is printed on the back.
The design lives on the back of the shirt, so people read it as you walk away. Perfect timing. This isn't subtle, and that's the whole point. 100% cotton. Unisex fit S-2XL. DTG print. DTG printing locks the color in.
Black graphic tee, white text, zero subtlety. You know exactly what this is. It gets a laugh from strangers and a knowing nod from bartenders. Pair it with shorts you probably shouldn't still own and you've got a whole mood.
The Cinco de Drinko Sponsored By Bad Choices Black Tee is Unethical Threads' official uniform for anyone who treats May 5th less like a cultural celebration and more like a personal challenge. Heavyweight cotton.
Heavyweight cotton, dark joke, zero subtlety. This is the shirt for people who find their own mortality genuinely hilarious. If you've ever told a joke that cleared a room and felt proud about it, this is the shirt.
This one's for anyone who treats a 72-hour hold like a personality trait. Heavyweight cotton, graphic that doesn't fade, humor that probably should. Your friend who overshares at brunch. The person in the group chat who always takes it one step too far (and everyone loves them for it).
The Warning May Spontaneously Start Speaking Broken Spanish After 3 Margaritas White Tee from Unethical Threads is for everyone who's ever ordered "uno mas" and then tried to narrate their life story in what they believed was fluent Spanish.