That's sort of the point. Unethical Threads makes apparel for people who find humor in places others won't look. You already know if you're the target audience. It's a dark humor twist on carpe diem.
Heavyweight cotton, DTG-printed, and way funnier than whatever excuse you were going to use. It's heavyweight cotton with a broken-in feel. Not stiff, not flimsy. The kind of shirt you grab first out of the drawer.
The design lives on the back of the shirt, so people read it as you walk away. Perfect timing. This isn't subtle, and that's the whole point. 100% cotton. Unisex fit S-2XL. DTG print. DTG printing locks the color in.
The Ankle Monitors Are Sexy Tee from Unethical Threads says what the justice system won't: those little blinking bracelets have a certain charm. This tee is for anyone who looked at an ankle monitor and thought "accessorize.".
Black graphic tee, white text, zero subtlety. You know exactly what this is. It gets a laugh from strangers and a knowing nod from bartenders. Pair it with shorts you probably shouldn't still own and you've got a whole mood.
The Cinco de Drinko Sponsored By Bad Choices Black Tee is Unethical Threads' official uniform for anyone who treats May 5th less like a cultural celebration and more like a personal challenge. Heavyweight cotton.
This one's for anyone who treats a 72-hour hold like a personality trait. Heavyweight cotton, graphic that doesn't fade, humor that probably should. Your friend who overshares at brunch. The person in the group chat who always takes it one step too far (and everyone loves them for it).
The Cinco De Mayo More Like Cinco Go Die Yo Black Tee is Unethical Threads saying what you're already thinking every May 5th. DTG printed on heavyweight cotton. This isn't a safe gift. It's an "I know you, and this is exactly your speed" gift.
This is a funny margarita drinking shirt from Unethical Threads that announces your blood type as Margar-Ita Positive. The I'm Not Saying I'm An Alcoholic But My Blood Type Is Margar-Ita Positive Black Tee is for anyone whose liver has a longer rap sheet than their actual criminal record.
The 2026 Will Be My Year Funny New Year Resolution Tee from Unethical Threads is basically a spreadsheet of your failures, printed on cotton. Every year from 2016 to 2025 crossed out in red because none of those were your year.