The My Liver Is On Vacation In The Icu After Cinco De Mayo Black Tee is Unethical Threads doing what we do best: saying the quiet part loud. People who treat Cinco De Mayo like a competitive sport. If you've ever woken up on May 6th wondering which organ to apologize to first, this one's for you.
This is not a subtle shirt. Almost certainly. That's sort of the point. People with a sense of humor and zero interest in playing it safe. You'll see this at tailgates, bachelor parties, and the kind of cookout where the host has strong opinions about charcoal.
You already know what this shirt is about. If that makes you uncomfortable, it's doing its job. DTG printed graphic that stays sharp and vibrant through the wash cycle gauntlet. Turn it inside out, wash cold, and it'll stay looking sharp.
People who made tequila a personality trait and stopped apologizing for it. Crew neck, because even tequila people have standards. Pair it with an actual bottle if you're feeling generous. Not even close.
No guessing sizes (S-4XL, relaxed fit). No wondering if they'll get it. They'll get it. They probably already live it. The Im Not Saying Im An Alcoholic But My Blood Type Is Margar-Ita Positive shirt says what your friends already know, printed on heavyweight cotton that holds up better than your liver will.
You showed up to the Cinco de Mayo party. This shirt is just putting that energy into words. The joke is on you, the wearer. That's not punching down. People respect the honesty. Is this a good Cinco de Mayo gift?.
Wear it, own it, watch the room split. It looks good there, honestly. They will not forget this one. Crew neck, classic cut. People who peak at barbecues and in group chats. The friend everyone's a little nervous to introduce to new people.
Heavyweight cotton, graphic tee, maximum dismissive energy. You care about the earth, you just don't care about their lecture. It's pre-shrunk. Wash it hot, wash it cold, it holds its shape. People who recycle but draw the line at being guilt-tripped about it.
The I'm Not A Cactus Expert But I Know A Prick When I See One Tee is an Unethical Threads original for anyone who identifies pricks faster than succulents. You already know if this is for you. If you've ever been told "you didn't have to say that," this tee gets you.
If you've ever ordered a round nobody asked for and felt no guilt about it, this is your uniform. Your tequila might fade the night, but this graphic won't fade on you. It's cheaper than a bottle of Don Julio and way more honest than a gift card.