The Ankle Monitors Are Sexy Tee from Unethical Threads says what the justice system won't: those little blinking bracelets have a certain charm. This tee is for anyone who looked at an ankle monitor and thought "accessorize.".
The Cinco De Mayo More Like Cinco Go Die Yo White Tee is Unethical Threads' contribution to your May 5th wardrobe. It says what you're thinking while everyone else is pretending to care about margarita specials.
That's sort of the point. Unethical Threads makes apparel for people who find humor in places others won't look. You already know if you're the target audience. It's a dark humor twist on carpe diem.
Black graphic tee, white text, zero subtlety. You know exactly what this is. It gets a laugh from strangers and a knowing nod from bartenders. Pair it with shorts you probably shouldn't still own and you've got a whole mood.
The Cinco de Drinko Sponsored By Bad Choices Black Tee is Unethical Threads' official uniform for anyone who treats May 5th less like a cultural celebration and more like a personal challenge. Heavyweight cotton.
Heavyweight cotton, dark joke, zero subtlety. This is the shirt for people who find their own mortality genuinely hilarious. If you've ever told a joke that cleared a room and felt proud about it, this is the shirt.
This one's for anyone who treats a 72-hour hold like a personality trait. Heavyweight cotton, graphic that doesn't fade, humor that probably should. Your friend who overshares at brunch. The person in the group chat who always takes it one step too far (and everyone loves them for it).
The Warning May Spontaneously Start Speaking Broken Spanish After 3 Margaritas White Tee from Unethical Threads is for everyone who's ever ordered "uno mas" and then tried to narrate their life story in what they believed was fluent Spanish.
The Cinco De Mayo More Like Cinco Go Die Yo Black Tee is Unethical Threads saying what you're already thinking every May 5th. DTG printed on heavyweight cotton. This isn't a safe gift. It's an "I know you, and this is exactly your speed" gift.
If the title made you laugh, you're the target audience. 100% cotton. Unisex fit S-2XL. DTG print. That's the whole point. Crew neck for when you want to keep things classic while the graphic does the heavy lifting.