WEBVTT NOTE Podcast: Acts 29 Vancouver Episode: Authentic_Family Publishing Date: 2019-07-14T06:00:44-07:00 Podcast URL: https://acts29.ca Episode URL: https://acts29.ca/authentic_family/ 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:12.300 Last week we talked about two things that we cannot forget, regardless of how far we go, what we do. 00:00:12.300 --> 00:00:20.700 The two things that we cannot forget was that one, we are a... we have to keep this focal. 00:00:20.700 --> 00:00:27.300 That one, we are a restored community of disciples. 00:00:27.300 --> 00:00:33.700 You heard what's her name mention it when she was talking about her friend. 00:00:33.700 --> 00:00:36.600 So, restored community of disciples. 00:00:36.600 --> 00:00:48.400 And the second thing we said we cannot lose focus on is that we are an authentic family of sacrificial love. 00:00:48.500 --> 00:00:54.700 These two are in the very nature of what Christ is building in terms of his church. 00:00:54.700 --> 00:01:03.800 And so, regardless of what we become, how big, how small, how true, how strong, how weak, whatever we become, 00:01:03.800 --> 00:01:08.600 we got to come back to this focal point that one, we are a restored community of disciples 00:01:08.600 --> 00:01:12.200 and two, that we are an authentic family of sacrificial love. 00:01:12.200 --> 00:01:14.600 We talked about this last week. 00:01:14.600 --> 00:01:16.900 And then Shaleen came and asked a question. 00:01:17.000 --> 00:01:21.200 I really didn't plan on teaching on this. 00:01:21.200 --> 00:01:26.400 But then she came and asked a question saying, so what does an authentic family look like? 00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:30.000 So then that became a problem because I couldn't give her an answer then. 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:33.300 So I decided that you might as well suffer for her question. 00:01:33.300 --> 00:01:35.200 So we shall suffer together. 00:01:35.200 --> 00:01:38.400 And if you don't like this message, you know who to blame. 00:01:38.400 --> 00:01:41.200 If you like this message, you know who to commend. 00:01:41.200 --> 00:01:41.900 Yeah. 00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:45.100 So the first scripture I want to... 00:01:45.100 --> 00:01:47.400 So what does authentic family look like? 00:01:47.400 --> 00:01:54.300 And as much as analogies are good to give you an idea of what authentic families look like, 00:01:54.300 --> 00:02:00.000 analogies can sometimes be hidden, sometimes be true, sometimes have different motives. 00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:06.000 So why not look at what the Bible says in terms of what authentic family should look like from God's perspective. 00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:09.500 So one of the scriptures I want you to look at is 1 Timothy 3.15. 00:02:10.500 --> 00:02:16.900 Because this was a priority in Paul's mind too, 1 Timothy 3.15. 00:02:19.900 --> 00:02:24.000 And if you read it from the NIRV, I'm reading it. 00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:26.200 I'm going to read it from the NIRV. 00:02:26.200 --> 00:02:28.200 You can read it from the NIRV. It doesn't matter. 00:02:28.200 --> 00:02:33.200 But here's what Paul says to Timothy, 1 Timothy 3.15. 00:02:33.200 --> 00:02:35.000 1 Timothy 3.15. 00:02:37.100 --> 00:02:38.000 And here's what he says. 00:02:38.000 --> 00:02:46.000 He says, I'm writing you these instructions so that if I'm delayed or if I have to put off my visit 00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:56.500 or if I'm delayed, depending on the version you're reading, you will know how you should act in God's... 00:02:56.500 --> 00:02:59.700 Depending on the version, it says God's household. 00:02:59.700 --> 00:03:07.000 But in the NIRV, which is why I chose it, it says you will know how to behave in God's family. 00:03:07.000 --> 00:03:08.000 Beautiful, eh? 00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:12.500 He says, listen, I'm writing to you, Timothy, because I have things to tell you. 00:03:12.500 --> 00:03:18.000 Besides stirring you up because you've been a little timid of late. 00:03:18.000 --> 00:03:24.000 But that aside, given that I've left you at Ephesus, I want to tell you a few other things. 00:03:24.000 --> 00:03:30.000 And some of the instructions I want to leave you will give you an idea of how one should conduct oneself in God's family. 00:03:30.500 --> 00:03:36.500 And then he says, the household or the family of God, what is it? 00:03:36.500 --> 00:03:40.000 And then he takes it from there and he says in the rest of the words, 00:03:40.000 --> 00:03:48.000 the family of God or the household of God is the church of the living God. 00:03:48.000 --> 00:03:58.000 And then he goes on to say, it is the pillar and as in the family of God or the household of God or the church of God 00:03:58.000 --> 00:04:02.000 is the pillar and the foundation of truth. 00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:06.000 See how he weaves it, eh? 00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:08.000 First he says, I've got instructions to give you. 00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:11.000 And then he says, here are the instructions. 00:04:11.000 --> 00:04:18.000 And these instructions are to do with conduct in God's family or God's household. 00:04:18.000 --> 00:04:23.000 Then he goes on to say, hey, by the way, God's family is the church of the living God. 00:04:23.000 --> 00:04:30.000 And so this family or household or church that I'm talking about and giving you instructions for is the pillar and the foundation of truth. 00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:40.000 So the standard of God's family, if you had to have a standard, this is how I would define it. 00:04:40.000 --> 00:04:50.000 The standard of God's family is relational order and conduct. 00:04:50.000 --> 00:05:16.000 Relational order and conduct rooted in, held together, rooted in, held together and built up in love. 00:05:16.000 --> 00:05:18.000 That's how we set the standard. 00:05:18.000 --> 00:05:24.000 The standard for the family of God is relational order and conduct. 00:05:24.000 --> 00:05:26.000 Relational order and conduct. 00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:31.000 How does this family, so what are we, again, let's go back to the question that Shalini asked. 00:05:31.000 --> 00:05:33.000 What is an authentic family? 00:05:33.000 --> 00:05:40.000 So now we're trying to discover what an authentic family is from the word. 00:05:41.000 --> 00:05:50.000 And so we begin with this premise that God thinks that we are the family of God. 00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:54.000 He actually thinks we are his family. 00:05:54.000 --> 00:06:00.000 And then he goes on to say, this family or household is also the church. 00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:07.000 And then he goes on to say, this family or household or church is the foundation and the pillar of truth. 00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:14.000 But he starts with this idea of, oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you that you guys are my family. 00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:22.000 And having said that we are his family, he says there are certain instructions for the way we conduct ourselves as a family. 00:06:22.000 --> 00:06:25.000 And then he goes on to say, and so what is the standard? 00:06:25.000 --> 00:06:29.000 The standard is relational order and conduct. 00:06:29.000 --> 00:06:33.000 All order within the family must be relational. 00:06:33.000 --> 00:06:36.000 All conduct within the family must be relational. 00:06:36.000 --> 00:06:39.000 This way and horizontally. 00:06:39.000 --> 00:06:45.000 And it must be rooted in, held together, and built up in love. 00:06:45.000 --> 00:06:50.000 It must be rooted in, held together, and built up in love. 00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:55.000 It must be rooted in, held together, and built up in love. 00:06:56.000 --> 00:07:07.000 So imagine you and your really large family sitting around a dining table and then dessert in the den around Netflix. 00:07:07.000 --> 00:07:11.000 Because God does both, eh? 00:07:11.000 --> 00:07:14.000 There's no secular and sacred in God. 00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:16.000 There is no fun time and serious time in God. 00:07:16.000 --> 00:07:18.000 That's what we make out of it. 00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:25.000 Watching Netflix is as interesting to God as sitting together and talking about him. 00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:31.000 As long as what you watch on Netflix falls within the Philippians 4-8 category. 00:07:31.000 --> 00:07:37.000 So any questions on that before we go on? 00:07:48.000 --> 00:07:56.000 Okay, if you have no questions, then the initial responsibility in every family falls on the head of the family. 00:07:56.000 --> 00:08:01.000 And in this, God has been exemplary as a model. 00:08:01.000 --> 00:08:07.000 The Godhead has been exemplary in modeling what a family should look like. 00:08:07.000 --> 00:08:14.000 Because he's done everything in a way that roots in, holds together, and builds up in love. 00:08:14.000 --> 00:08:15.000 So he's been exemplary. 00:08:15.000 --> 00:08:17.000 That's great. But now it falls on us. 00:08:17.000 --> 00:08:29.000 So the initial responsibility in any family then lies next with the pastor, with the leaders, with the elders, with those who are mature. 00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:35.000 And as they example the biblical model, that becomes the standard. 00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:39.000 As they example the biblical model, that becomes the standard. 00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:47.000 So if I am supposed to tell you to be an authentic family of sacrificial love, 00:08:47.000 --> 00:08:54.000 then it is demanded of me, the leaders, the elders, if you have elders, and the ones that are mature, 00:08:54.000 --> 00:08:58.000 to now example what an authentic family of sacrificial love looks. 00:08:58.000 --> 00:09:07.000 Because that becomes the biblical model and the standard by which you must judge me, judge the leaders, judge the elders, judge those that are mature. 00:09:07.000 --> 00:09:10.000 And then this goes on from generation to generation. 00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:16.000 Which is why we often end up with some baggage from our past. 00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:20.000 Because most of our families at some point were dysfunctional. 00:09:25.000 --> 00:09:28.000 And we are a product of that, whether we like it or not. 00:09:28.000 --> 00:09:39.000 What if we could construct something that is relational in order and conduct and is rooted in hell together and built up in love? 00:09:39.000 --> 00:09:41.000 What if we did this? 00:09:43.000 --> 00:09:46.000 And to do that, we'll just look at the household texts. 00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:55.000 These texts are actually called household texts, which were written by Paul to the Thessalonians and to Timothy, 00:09:55.000 --> 00:10:00.000 where he talks about how does one conduct oneself in the family of God. 00:10:02.000 --> 00:10:08.000 So the idea of the family of God is not something I discovered or I came up with or chat discovered or chat came up with. 00:10:08.000 --> 00:10:11.000 God actually uses the word family. 00:10:11.000 --> 00:10:15.000 Only in those days, instead of the word family, they use the word household. 00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:19.000 Since that's an archaic word in our language, let's just say family. 00:10:19.000 --> 00:10:21.000 And look at what he's saying. 00:10:21.000 --> 00:10:28.000 How you should conduct yourself in God's family, which is the church of the living God, which is the pillar and foundation of truth. 00:10:28.000 --> 00:10:31.000 Critical, 1 Timothy 3.15. 00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:36.000 This is how he thinks. 00:10:40.000 --> 00:10:42.000 Any questions? 00:10:43.000 --> 00:10:46.000 So we look at the household texts of Thessalonians. 00:10:46.000 --> 00:10:52.000 First Thessalonians, then we look at 1 Timothy, and then we'll add some verses from 2 Corinthians. 00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:54.000 Any questions? 00:10:58.000 --> 00:11:04.000 Okay, so if you want to turn to 1 Thessalonians, and we'll start in chapter 2. 00:11:04.000 --> 00:11:08.000 Just look at scripture verses and draw some principles from them. 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:33.000 This is the standard you must use to judge me, judge leaders, judge elders, and judge those that are mature in the church. 00:11:33.000 --> 00:11:39.000 This is the standard because the initial responsibility in any family lies with the head. 00:11:39.000 --> 00:11:41.000 God has done an exemplary job. 00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:46.000 Now it's our turn to do an exemplary job so that it continues from generation to generation. 00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:51.000 So let's go to 1 Thessalonians 2, and we'll work through some of the verses there. 00:11:51.000 --> 00:11:54.000 1 Thessalonians 2, verse 5. 00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:57.000 Sorry, 1 Thessalonians 2, verse 5. 00:11:57.000 --> 00:12:07.000 So one of the first things if you want to build an authentic family is that you can't, as leaders, as a pastor or a leader, 00:12:07.000 --> 00:12:15.000 or as an elder or someone who's mature, you can't have impure motives, flattery, or gain. 00:12:15.000 --> 00:12:18.000 Okay, so 1 Thessalonians 2, verse 5. 00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:20.000 I'm reading from different versions. 00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:25.000 It says, You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to cover up greed. 00:12:25.000 --> 00:12:27.000 God is our witness. 00:12:27.000 --> 00:12:31.000 We were not looking for praise from men, nor from you or anyone else. 00:12:31.000 --> 00:12:39.000 Some other versions say, For the appeal we make doesn't spring from error or impure motives, nor are we trying to trick you. 00:12:39.000 --> 00:12:43.000 We never used flattery, nor did we put a mask to cover up greed. 00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:45.000 God is our witness. 00:12:45.000 --> 00:12:59.000 So the first thing is, in this authentic family, there is no room for impure motive, greed, 00:13:00.000 --> 00:13:05.000 trickery, flattery. 00:13:07.000 --> 00:13:13.000 Because in a family, we don't do that to mother's, father's, children's, younger brother's, younger sister's. 00:13:13.000 --> 00:13:21.000 And so anything that we don't do in our family actually came from this idea that God had about how family should be conducted. 00:13:21.000 --> 00:13:23.000 So that's the first one. 00:13:23.000 --> 00:13:26.000 No impure motive, no greed, no trickery, no flattery. 00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:28.000 Any questions? 00:13:30.000 --> 00:13:37.000 So if I use any of these with you, or if any of the leaders uses impure motives, greed, trickery, or flattery, 00:13:37.000 --> 00:13:42.000 then in a sense we are hollowing out or undermining the family of God. 00:13:44.000 --> 00:13:48.000 One must do it with sufficient fear, because this is the family of God. 00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:50.000 It's not your family first. 00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:53.000 It is his family and then our family, because he is the father. 00:13:53.000 --> 00:13:58.000 Second, 1 Thessalonians 2.7. 00:13:58.000 --> 00:14:07.000 As apostles of Christ, we could have been a burden to you, but we were gentle among you like a mother caring for her little children. 00:14:07.000 --> 00:14:09.000 Gentle among you like a mother. 00:14:09.000 --> 00:14:13.000 The word gentle is actually tender nurture. 00:14:13.000 --> 00:14:16.000 I read two pages on the word gentle at Christ. 00:14:16.000 --> 00:14:19.000 I couldn't believe someone would spend two pages explaining that Greek word. 00:14:19.000 --> 00:14:30.000 It's tender nurture given by a nursing mother to her children. 00:14:30.000 --> 00:14:35.000 This then becomes a standard where God has to do this with us, 00:14:35.000 --> 00:14:38.000 and then we have to do this with our children. 00:14:39.000 --> 00:14:48.000 This then becomes a standard where God has to do this with us, and we have to do it with people. 00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:53.000 So how do you judge then whether we are a family? 00:14:53.000 --> 00:14:55.000 There is tender nurture. It's not one-sided. 00:14:55.000 --> 00:14:59.000 We'll see how he is a father too, but this is an essential part of him. 00:14:59.000 --> 00:15:03.000 And therefore this must be an essential part of my leadership. 00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:08.000 It should be an essential part of elders, matures, elders, leaders in the church. 00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:15.000 That there'll be a tender nurture in the way one takes care of the family. 00:15:20.000 --> 00:15:25.000 So now if we have analogies, the analogies should fit this. 00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:33.000 Because we are setting down what God says in the household texts to Timothy and to the Thessalonians, 00:15:33.000 --> 00:15:37.000 that this is how we want to go about stuff. 00:15:37.000 --> 00:15:42.000 The third one is, first Thessalonians 2.8. 00:15:46.000 --> 00:15:47.000 And it says that, 00:15:55.000 --> 00:15:57.000 Because you had become so dear to us. 00:15:57.000 --> 00:15:59.000 Who writes like this, man? 00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:04.000 Who says stuff like this? Other than your own dad or mom? 00:16:05.000 --> 00:16:07.000 But this is the standard expected of us. 00:16:07.000 --> 00:16:09.000 This is the standard expected of me. 00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:20.000 That because I love you so much, I delight to share not only the word, but my life with you, 00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:23.000 because you have become very special to me. 00:16:25.000 --> 00:16:28.000 What a beautiful standard to set, eh? 00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:38.000 So the third one then, inner family. 00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:44.000 And this would be normal for most families that even when they are dysfunctional, have loving parents. 00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:46.000 It's very natural for this to happen. 00:16:46.000 --> 00:16:48.000 Even when they are dysfunctional. 00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:52.000 Because sometimes the dysfunctionality is in the marriage, not in the parenting. 00:16:55.000 --> 00:17:01.000 So, we delight, you have become so special. 00:17:01.000 --> 00:17:03.000 You have become so special. 00:17:06.000 --> 00:17:21.000 That I would like to share not just the word, but my life. 00:17:25.000 --> 00:17:26.000 With you. 00:17:28.000 --> 00:17:29.000 What a standard, eh? 00:17:29.000 --> 00:17:32.000 I was reading this and I was thinking to myself, my godfather. 00:17:33.000 --> 00:17:37.000 There's so much progress made and there's such a long way to go. 00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:43.000 Any questions? 00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:49.000 Next one. 00:17:50.000 --> 00:17:56.000 In an authentic family, relationships and the ways of dealing with each other are not contractual. 00:17:56.000 --> 00:17:57.000 They are relational. 00:17:57.000 --> 00:18:01.000 So in 1st Thessalonians 2.9, you see him saying, 00:18:01.000 --> 00:18:04.000 Surely you remember, brothers, our toil and hardship. 00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:11.000 We worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you. 00:18:11.000 --> 00:18:16.000 Or in other words, we didn't want to cause you any expense. 00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:27.000 We didn't want to cause you any expense. 00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:32.000 We didn't want to cause you any expense. 00:18:32.000 --> 00:18:37.000 Let me take you to another word where Paul says in 1st Corinthians, I don't know where it is. 00:18:37.000 --> 00:18:38.000 But here's what it says. 00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:41.000 Children shouldn't have to look out for their parents. 00:18:41.000 --> 00:18:43.000 Parents look out for the children. 00:18:44.000 --> 00:18:51.000 And then it goes on to say, I'd be most happy to empty my pockets, even mortgage my life for your good. 00:18:51.000 --> 00:18:52.000 It's in the message. 00:18:52.000 --> 00:18:55.000 If someone can find out where that is, where the scripture is. 00:18:55.000 --> 00:19:04.000 So my heart towards you or any leader in this church or any elder in this church or anyone who is mature in this church, 00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:07.000 their heart towards you should be this. 00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:10.000 That children don't take care of parents. 00:19:10.000 --> 00:19:11.000 Parents look out for the children. 00:19:11.000 --> 00:19:21.000 I'd be most happy to empty my pockets, even mortgage my life for your good, because we didn't want you to bear the expense. 00:19:21.000 --> 00:19:23.000 That was Paul's attitude. 00:19:23.000 --> 00:19:25.000 So that should be my heart towards you. 00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:27.000 It can't be contractual. 00:19:27.000 --> 00:19:29.000 It has to be relational. 00:19:29.000 --> 00:19:35.000 Your heart towards the leaders should be in 1st Corinthians 9, 10 to 14. 00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:41.000 So it's not one or the other. 00:19:41.000 --> 00:19:45.000 My heart shouldn't go towards 1st Corinthians 9, 10 to 14. 00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:47.000 My heart should stay with this. 00:19:47.000 --> 00:19:52.000 While your heart should reflect 1st Corinthians 10, 9 to 14, because it's not either or. 00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:53.000 It's both. 00:19:53.000 --> 00:19:55.000 And in the process, both benefit. 00:19:55.000 --> 00:20:02.000 1st Corinthians 9, 10 to 14, where it says, surely he says this for us, doesn't he? 00:20:02.000 --> 00:20:03.000 Yes, this is written for us. 00:20:03.000 --> 00:20:09.000 Because when the ploughman plows and the thresher threshes, they ought to do so in the hope of sharing in the harvest. 00:20:09.000 --> 00:20:15.000 If we have sown spiritual seed among you, is it too much if we reap a material harvest from you? 00:20:15.000 --> 00:20:19.000 If others have this right of support from you, shouldn't we have it all the more? 00:20:19.000 --> 00:20:21.000 But we did not use this right. 00:20:21.000 --> 00:20:25.000 On the contrary, we put up with anything rather than hinder the gospel of Christ. 00:20:25.000 --> 00:20:31.000 Don't you know that those who work for the temple get their food from the temple, and those who serve at the altar share in what is offered on the altar? 00:20:31.000 --> 00:20:36.000 In the same way, the Lord has commanded that those who preach the gospel should receive their living from the gospel. 00:20:36.000 --> 00:20:37.000 So that's one part. 00:20:37.000 --> 00:20:38.000 And then there's a part of honoring. 00:20:38.000 --> 00:20:39.000 So that's one side. 00:20:39.000 --> 00:20:52.000 On the other side, as leaders, as matures, as elders, as one who is a pastor, I should remember this other side, where it says that I cannot put the burden of expense on you. 00:20:55.000 --> 00:20:57.000 2nd Corinthians 12, 14, from the message. 00:20:58.000 --> 00:21:01.000 That's where it says, children shouldn't have to look after their parents. 00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:03.000 Parents look after their children. 00:21:03.000 --> 00:21:07.000 I'd be most happy to empty my pockets, even mortgage my life for your good. 00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:13.000 Any questions? 00:21:15.000 --> 00:21:17.000 These are things we'll work towards, guys. 00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:21.000 Any questions? 00:21:23.000 --> 00:21:24.000 Okay, next one. 00:21:27.000 --> 00:21:28.000 Pure and blameless life. 00:21:29.000 --> 00:21:34.000 A pure, blameless life. 00:21:36.000 --> 00:21:39.000 It's in 1st Thessalonians 2, 10. 00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:42.000 1st Thessalonians 2, 10. 00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:49.000 Hey, Emily. 00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:52.000 1st Thessalonians 2, 10. 00:21:52.000 --> 00:22:00.000 You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous, and blameless we were among you who believed. 00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:07.000 Hey, how holy, righteous, and blameless we were towards those who believed. 00:22:07.000 --> 00:22:10.000 This is in 1st Thessalonians 2, 10. 00:22:11.000 --> 00:22:18.000 And so this is something you must demand of the leaders, and the leaders must meet the standard. 00:22:18.000 --> 00:22:23.000 That there'll be a holy, righteous, blamelessness in our dealings. 00:22:24.000 --> 00:22:28.000 Guys, there's a difference between sinlessness and blamelessness. 00:22:29.000 --> 00:22:30.000 Because it's... 00:22:31.000 --> 00:22:40.000 You should seek to live sin-free lives by embracing God's nature, which will allow you to live above reproach. 00:22:40.000 --> 00:22:42.000 And that is a blameless life. 00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:45.000 A sinless life is a life where there is absolutely no sin. 00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:46.000 Almost impossible. 00:22:46.000 --> 00:22:48.000 A blameless life is possible. 00:22:49.000 --> 00:22:52.000 A blameless life is when you embrace God's nature. 00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:58.000 And so you begin to live a life that is free of reproach and doesn't put stumbling blocks in people's path. 00:22:58.000 --> 00:23:00.000 That's a blameless life. 00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:04.000 And so when Paul is writing this, it's not that he's reached a place where he's sinless. 00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:07.000 He's writing this from a place where he's saying, 00:23:07.000 --> 00:23:10.000 Hey, my conduct before you has been blameless. 00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:14.000 I have worked to live a holy, righteous, and blameless life. 00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:17.000 And this should be an expectation that the church has. 00:23:17.000 --> 00:23:22.000 Of its leaders, of me, of the elders and the olders. 00:23:27.000 --> 00:23:29.000 Guys, perception matters, eh? 00:23:29.000 --> 00:23:31.000 Perception matters. 00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:34.000 The world is watching. Perception matters. 00:23:34.000 --> 00:23:38.000 So in every area, commend yourself. 00:23:38.000 --> 00:23:39.000 Commend yourself. 00:23:39.000 --> 00:23:45.000 It doesn't matter that I may have a way that is part of who Jacob is. 00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:51.000 I must then change that so that I can commend myself to you in the areas where I am a failure. 00:23:53.000 --> 00:23:58.000 I remember long ago, and I'm going to take the liberty of saying this about Derek. 00:23:59.000 --> 00:24:01.000 I remember when I first met Derek and Derek didn't have a job. 00:24:01.000 --> 00:24:03.000 We would go driving around Vancouver. 00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:08.000 And one of the things Derek would do is if you asked him a question, 00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:11.000 he would not say anything negative. He would not say anything positive. 00:24:11.000 --> 00:24:17.000 So he would stay in that safe, neutral grade where it was neither negative nor positive. 00:24:17.000 --> 00:24:21.000 And so we had this talk about it and he said, but that's who I am, Jacob. 00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:25.000 And then we had to begin to work on it so that if Derek didn't like something, 00:24:25.000 --> 00:24:29.000 he would in the right way be able to say, No, Jacob, I don't want to come for this. 00:24:29.000 --> 00:24:31.000 Or no, Jacob, I don't want to come for this meeting. 00:24:31.000 --> 00:24:34.000 Because otherwise, anything I asked him, Derek would say yes to. 00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:39.000 But just because that was his personality doesn't make it part of his nature. 00:24:43.000 --> 00:24:46.000 Because I hear this said often that this is who I am. 00:24:46.000 --> 00:24:52.000 No, man, there are so many negative things about me that in terms of who I am, 00:24:52.000 --> 00:24:54.000 that if I don't change, you're done. 00:24:57.000 --> 00:25:02.000 Commend yourself, commend yourself through conduct. 00:25:03.000 --> 00:25:05.000 Through conduct. Next one. 00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:13.000 If we have tender nurture given by mothers, we also have 1 Thessalonians 2.11 00:25:13.000 --> 00:25:18.000 where it says, Strengthening Fathers, Charging Strengthening Fathers. 00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:22.000 The word used there is actually charging and I'll get to that word. 00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:27.000 Charging Strengthening Fathers. 00:25:27.000 --> 00:25:32.000 The 1 Thessalonians 2.11 and here's how it reads. 00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:36.000 We treated each of you as a father treats his own children. 00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:40.000 We gave you hope and strength. We comforted you. 00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:45.000 And then the actual word used is, We charged you to live in a way that is worthy of God. 00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:55.000 And that word charged comes from the same word, martyr or witness. 00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:58.000 Same word used there. I'm not even talking about some root word. 00:25:58.000 --> 00:26:07.000 The word used there is that we literally demanded of you as fathers that you give witness to the truth. 00:26:09.000 --> 00:26:13.000 So on one hand you have the tender nurture given by a nursing mother to her children. 00:26:13.000 --> 00:26:16.000 On the other hand you have the strengthening of a father. 00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:19.000 We treated each of you as a father treats his own children. 00:26:19.000 --> 00:26:22.000 We gave you hope and strength. We comforted you. 00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:25.000 We charged you to live in a way that is worthy of God. 00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:28.000 Look at another scripture on 2 Corinthians 11. 00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:31.000 2 Corinthians 11. 00:26:31.000 --> 00:26:38.000 This is something that I pray if you're a leader you experience. 00:26:38.000 --> 00:26:42.000 2 Corinthians 11 verse 28 onwards. 00:26:42.000 --> 00:26:47.000 If you go above 28 to 27 that was Paul's experience. 00:26:47.000 --> 00:26:51.000 But 28 and 29 is something that you and I can relate to. 00:26:51.000 --> 00:26:56.000 So Paul just told them how he's been beaten, shipwrecked, whipped, all the things that don't happen to us. 00:26:56.000 --> 00:26:58.000 And then verse 28 says this. 00:26:58.000 --> 00:27:05.000 Besides everything else I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. 00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:12.000 Who is weak and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin and I do not inwardly burn? 00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:14.000 This is how I must carry you. 00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:23.000 It's one thing to know the burden of dealing with people in different churches. 00:27:23.000 --> 00:27:27.000 That I kind of know because I deal with it on a daily basis. 00:27:27.000 --> 00:27:32.000 But there's other thing where he says who is weak and I do not feel weak? 00:27:32.000 --> 00:27:37.000 Who is led into sin and I do not inwardly burn? 00:27:37.000 --> 00:27:40.000 What standards eh? 00:27:44.000 --> 00:27:48.000 This is how you and I, I mean as parents you would. 00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:50.000 If your child went astray. 00:27:54.000 --> 00:28:00.000 I mean I've seen pastors whose kids have gone astray and they have to preach and then they have to come back. 00:28:00.000 --> 00:28:03.000 And I've seen them and their wives sitting and weeping for, 00:28:03.000 --> 00:28:06.000 they're able to take care of a hundred youth that are doing really well. 00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:08.000 But their son or daughter is walking astray. 00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:11.000 And the pain they carry again and again and again. 00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:16.000 This is the demand made of us. 00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:23.000 And I'm, guys like I said before, I really don't believe that God makes leaders and followers. 00:28:23.000 --> 00:28:25.000 I really don't believe that. 00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:28.000 He makes us after his nature. 00:28:28.000 --> 00:28:31.000 So he makes us leaders and servants, all of us. 00:28:31.000 --> 00:28:36.000 Then he doesn't say you guys will be leaders, you guys will be followers. 00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:39.000 That's not how he makes, he's made us in his own image. 00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:44.000 Having made us in his own image, he then gives us different responsibilities. 00:28:44.000 --> 00:28:48.000 And our domain increases based on our faithfulness. 00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:53.000 Our giftedness works in different places. 00:28:54.000 --> 00:28:59.000 If you're a carpenter, it's likely that you'll be my boss if we were making a table. 00:29:01.000 --> 00:29:06.000 But if it came to preaching, it's likely that I may be your boss because I preach better than you. 00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:12.000 He doesn't make leaders and followers, which then means that this one day can apply to anybody sitting here. 00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:16.000 Not just to Jacob and a few leaders or a few matros or an older. 00:29:16.000 --> 00:29:19.000 But this is the standard that we aspire to. 00:29:19.000 --> 00:29:21.000 What a glorious standard. 00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:32.000 Leaders and servants. He is a servant by nature, he is a master by nature. 00:29:32.000 --> 00:29:34.000 He does both. 00:29:34.000 --> 00:29:42.000 He does both. He's a master who is not a tyrant nor a benefact, not the kind of master who lords it over people. 00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:46.000 But he's also a servant, it's very natural to him. 00:29:47.000 --> 00:29:49.000 God by nature is a servant. 00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:52.000 God by nature is a servant. 00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:56.000 When Jesus wraps a towel around him and starts washing feet, it wasn't alien to him. 00:29:56.000 --> 00:30:00.000 He wasn't doing something as a moral example. He was doing that which is natural. 00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:07.000 Next one. First Thessalonians 2.19. 00:30:07.000 --> 00:30:09.000 First Thessalonians 2.19. 00:30:11.000 --> 00:30:16.000 This I've said to people and I know kind of what Paul is talking about. 00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:19.000 First Thessalonians 2.19. 00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:22.000 Where is Thessalonians? 00:30:24.000 --> 00:30:26.000 He says that 00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:28.000 He says that 00:30:30.000 --> 00:30:32.000 He says that 00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:37.000 Starting at 18. 00:30:37.000 --> 00:30:41.000 For we wanted to come to you, certainly I, Paul, did again and again. 00:30:41.000 --> 00:30:43.000 But Satan stopped us. 00:30:43.000 --> 00:30:49.000 For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? 00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:52.000 Is it not you? Indeed you are our glory and joy. 00:30:52.000 --> 00:30:54.000 Here's another way of looking at it. 00:30:54.000 --> 00:30:58.000 What is our joy? When our Lord Jesus returns, what is the crown we will delight in? 00:30:58.000 --> 00:31:01.000 Isn't it you? You are our pride and joy. 00:31:03.000 --> 00:31:05.000 You are our pride and joy. 00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:19.000 This happened some years ago and I remember just talking about this two days ago to Dano and Blessy. 00:31:19.000 --> 00:31:22.000 We were in Chennai. We had just finished a meeting. 00:31:22.000 --> 00:31:27.000 And Eddie and I were on this side of the road and they were on the other side and they were leaving. 00:31:27.000 --> 00:31:32.000 And I ran across the road because I wanted to say to them that I don't have anybody like you. 00:31:32.000 --> 00:31:36.000 Paul's words to Timothy, nobody who's running like you. 00:31:36.000 --> 00:31:41.000 There is this thing where the ones you raise become your pride and joy. 00:31:43.000 --> 00:31:46.000 And there are days when I can see you like that. 00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:48.000 But for Paul this was a regular thing. 00:31:53.000 --> 00:31:57.000 There are days when I can see him playing that I know some of the things that have happened in his life. 00:31:57.000 --> 00:31:59.000 I think to myself gosh, pride and joy. 00:32:09.000 --> 00:32:11.000 What standards they? 00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:14.000 What standards they? 00:32:17.000 --> 00:32:19.000 Restored community of disciples. 00:32:19.000 --> 00:32:23.000 And we'll talk about that. The whole idea of restored we touched on briefly and then we left. 00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:27.000 An authentic family of sacrificial love. 00:32:32.000 --> 00:32:33.000 Pride and joy. 00:32:33.000 --> 00:32:35.000 Guys, this is what you must expect of me. 00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:38.000 I was going over this again and again and again. 00:32:38.000 --> 00:32:42.000 Trying to measure myself based on this standard. 00:32:42.000 --> 00:32:45.000 Sometimes coming up looking good. 00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:46.000 Sometimes feeling sheepish. 00:32:46.000 --> 00:32:48.000 Sometimes thinking, ah shucks. 00:32:48.000 --> 00:32:50.000 I didn't even know this. 00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:56.000 The next one is in first session. 00:32:56.000 --> 00:32:58.000 I'm going to talk about the first session. 00:32:59.000 --> 00:33:03.000 The next one is in first Thessalonians 3 verse 10. 00:33:03.000 --> 00:33:06.000 First Thessalonians 3, 10. 00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:19.000 It says that night and day we pray most earnestly that we may see you again and supply what is lacking in your faith. 00:33:19.000 --> 00:33:27.000 So there is a supply of your lack of faith. 00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:30.000 Or deficiency. 00:33:33.000 --> 00:33:36.000 Supply of your lack or deficiency. 00:33:36.000 --> 00:33:42.000 Which is something that I must do, leaders must do, matures and olders must do. 00:33:42.000 --> 00:33:51.000 That oh God will you use me in Jane's life, in Sheldon's life, in Emily's life, in Betty's life, in Aaron's life, Reni's life. 00:33:51.000 --> 00:33:53.000 To supply what is lacking. 00:33:53.000 --> 00:33:56.000 Supply what is deficient. 00:33:57.000 --> 00:33:59.000 And thought must go into that. 00:33:59.000 --> 00:34:01.000 So that you know what to come with. 00:34:01.000 --> 00:34:03.000 What brick, what mortar. 00:34:03.000 --> 00:34:05.000 How to put it together. 00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:06.000 What stone. 00:34:06.000 --> 00:34:09.000 Sometimes you don't use bricks, you use stones. 00:34:09.000 --> 00:34:11.000 How do we put this all together? 00:34:11.000 --> 00:34:13.000 Spend hours asking. 00:34:17.000 --> 00:34:19.000 Parents do that. 00:34:19.000 --> 00:34:21.000 Like I told you. 00:34:21.000 --> 00:34:23.000 I mean maybe all dads do this. 00:34:23.000 --> 00:34:27.000 But when he did it I so disliked it and so appreciated it now. 00:34:27.000 --> 00:34:30.000 When my dad would take me for walks so that I don't walk like this. 00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:33.000 So that I lift my feet and walk. 00:34:33.000 --> 00:34:36.000 Deficiency that needed to be corrected. 00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:38.000 So what's the best way to correct it? 00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:42.000 Spend a whole day working really hard in really hot weather. 00:34:42.000 --> 00:34:50.000 And then come home and take your reluctant son for a long walk so that he learns how to lift his feet and walk instead of dragging them. 00:34:54.000 --> 00:34:56.000 Hated every minute of it. 00:34:56.000 --> 00:34:58.000 Loved him for doing it. 00:34:58.000 --> 00:35:00.000 Any questions? 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:03.000 Just supply what is lacking in your faith. 00:35:03.000 --> 00:35:06.000 And then when it comes to supply what is lacking in your faith. 00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:12.000 One of the ways we avoid it is by not showing any area of lack. 00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:18.000 If you do not, don't wear your deficiencies on your sleeve. 00:35:19.000 --> 00:35:22.000 But threaten to, not threaten to. 00:35:22.000 --> 00:35:24.000 Don't wear your deficiencies on your sleeve. 00:35:24.000 --> 00:35:30.000 But be relatively open about them so somebody can help. 00:35:41.000 --> 00:35:43.000 Next one. 00:35:49.000 --> 00:35:52.000 Just when you think you've gotten somewhere with this whole thing. 00:35:52.000 --> 00:35:55.000 1st Thessalonians chapter 3 verse 12. 00:35:58.000 --> 00:36:00.000 It says there. 00:36:01.000 --> 00:36:08.000 May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else just as ours does for you. 00:36:08.000 --> 00:36:10.000 See this is the advantage that Paul had. 00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:14.000 When Paul is teaching or preaching, he's using himself as an example. 00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:22.000 I had a mind when I was talking about this to take certain points and use my life as an example in terms of how I behave with you. 00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:24.000 But I decided not to. 00:36:26.000 --> 00:36:29.000 But Paul could say all these points that way. 00:36:29.000 --> 00:36:32.000 That like we do, you do. 00:36:34.000 --> 00:36:35.000 I want to get there. 00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:37.000 I want the leaders here to get there. 00:36:37.000 --> 00:36:40.000 I want the elders here to get there and the elders here to get there. 00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:49.000 Because the two things we cannot lose out on in terms of building church is one that it's a restored community of true disciples. 00:36:49.000 --> 00:36:51.000 And that's a whole other thing. 00:36:51.000 --> 00:36:57.000 And the other the first one is authentic family of sacrificial love. 00:36:59.000 --> 00:37:06.000 So just as ours does for you, Paul says, may your love increase and overflow for each other. 00:37:06.000 --> 00:37:07.000 And for everyone else. 00:37:07.000 --> 00:37:10.000 Guys, here's the odd thing. 00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:16.000 Parents think that they have all the love they need for their children. 00:37:16.000 --> 00:37:17.000 And that is it. 00:37:17.000 --> 00:37:20.000 That they were born with love of that kind. 00:37:20.000 --> 00:37:26.000 I want to let you parents know from a nonparent. 00:37:26.000 --> 00:37:29.000 I mean, I don't have the expertise to talk about parenting. 00:37:29.000 --> 00:37:33.000 But I know from a biblical standpoint, really, parents are born with love. 00:37:33.000 --> 00:37:35.000 I don't have the expertise to talk about parenting. 00:37:35.000 --> 00:37:42.000 But I know from a biblical standpoint, from a God's standpoint, that love for your children must increase and overflow. 00:37:42.000 --> 00:37:47.000 You were not given a determined amount of love as a parent saying, here it is. 00:37:47.000 --> 00:37:49.000 Now work with this. 00:37:49.000 --> 00:37:55.000 There'll be days when you wish you didn't have kids. 00:37:55.000 --> 00:38:02.000 But then there will be days when you must increase and overflow in your love. 00:38:02.000 --> 00:38:08.000 For all the days that I am at Acts 29, I must increase and overflow in my love for you. 00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:18.000 Increase and overflow. 00:38:18.000 --> 00:38:20.000 I give you my word. 00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:21.000 I will get here. 00:38:21.000 --> 00:38:24.000 My word counts for nothing. 00:38:24.000 --> 00:38:26.000 That's why I'm so easily giving it to you. 00:38:26.000 --> 00:38:30.000 But I know that it is my deep desire. 00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:43.000 Deep, deep desire that this happens and that God will have to say, hey, Jacob, you did what I asked you to. 00:38:48.000 --> 00:38:51.000 Because there's no other way to build this, man. 00:38:54.000 --> 00:38:59.000 And as the church grows, may there be more leaders who reflect this. 00:38:59.000 --> 00:39:01.000 To its fullness. 00:39:01.000 --> 00:39:03.000 To its fullness. 00:39:03.000 --> 00:39:07.000 That's why I love the fact that he says, let it increase and overflow. 00:39:11.000 --> 00:39:19.000 I wanted to get to a point where nobody in this church can say that, okay, maybe that's your experience with Jacob, but it isn't mine. 00:39:19.000 --> 00:39:29.000 I don't want 70% of you to experience what Christ wants you to experience here on earth in his family. 00:39:29.000 --> 00:39:33.000 I want everyone here to experience it. 00:39:33.000 --> 00:39:39.000 From each other and from your leaders and definitely from me. 00:39:39.000 --> 00:39:42.000 Thank God the bar is set so high. 00:39:42.000 --> 00:39:44.000 Thank God the bar is set so high. 00:39:49.000 --> 00:39:54.000 I'm reminded of James chapter 3, verse 1, as I teach this. 00:39:54.000 --> 00:39:59.000 You don't have to go there unless you really want to be responsible for having read it. 00:40:03.000 --> 00:40:09.000 Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 00:40:09.000 --> 00:40:14.000 If I'm saying this, then it becomes harder. 00:40:14.000 --> 00:40:16.000 Not harder. 00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:18.000 Can't just throw words around. 00:40:18.000 --> 00:40:20.000 Next one. 00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:24.000 First Thessalonians increase and overflow. 00:40:24.000 --> 00:40:26.000 Sorry, increase and overflow. 00:40:26.000 --> 00:40:28.000 Next one. 00:40:28.000 --> 00:40:32.000 First Thessalonians 5.14. 00:40:32.000 --> 00:40:38.000 Encourage, correct, and be a leader. 00:40:38.000 --> 00:40:40.000 Correct. 00:40:40.000 --> 00:40:42.000 Lift up. 00:40:46.000 --> 00:40:50.000 It says that First Thessalonians 5, verse 14. 00:40:53.000 --> 00:40:56.000 And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle. 00:40:56.000 --> 00:40:58.000 Some versions say disruptive. 00:40:58.000 --> 00:41:00.000 Some other versions say unruly. 00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:04.000 Warn or admonish those who are disruptive, unruly, idle. 00:41:04.000 --> 00:41:07.000 Encourage the timid. 00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:09.000 Help the weak. 00:41:09.000 --> 00:41:11.000 Be patient with everyone. 00:41:11.000 --> 00:41:13.000 Warn the unruly. 00:41:13.000 --> 00:41:15.000 Encourage the disheartened. 00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:17.000 Help the weak. 00:41:17.000 --> 00:41:19.000 Be patient with everyone. 00:41:19.000 --> 00:41:25.000 This is expected of me, of leaders, of elders, of olders. 00:41:25.000 --> 00:41:29.000 By older, I mean, I don't mean how old your bones are. 00:41:29.000 --> 00:41:35.000 I mean older as in you got grey hair of wisdom and you looked up to, well then, 00:41:35.000 --> 00:41:39.000 you must have reason to be looked up to other than your grey hair. 00:41:43.000 --> 00:41:49.000 Romans 14.1, if you read it from every version, it is pretty decent. 00:41:49.000 --> 00:41:52.000 You can say, okay, I meet the requirement. 00:41:52.000 --> 00:41:55.000 But if you read it from the message, it's really bothersome. 00:41:55.000 --> 00:41:57.000 So which one do you want to read it from? 00:41:57.000 --> 00:41:59.000 The message, okay. 00:42:01.000 --> 00:42:03.000 Can someone read it from the message? 00:42:03.000 --> 00:42:05.000 The message Romans 14.1. 00:42:11.000 --> 00:42:16.000 I found it very palatable from the NIV, except the person who is weak in faith. 00:42:16.000 --> 00:42:18.000 But now read it from the message. 00:42:33.000 --> 00:42:35.000 I don't think the message is accurate. 00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:37.000 We'll just go with the NIV. 00:42:37.000 --> 00:42:39.000 Because it's so easy to do that, man. 00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:47.000 Next one. 00:42:47.000 --> 00:42:53.000 Then there's some very straightforward interrelational conduct that Paul prescribes for the church. 00:42:53.000 --> 00:42:55.000 And it's very simple. 00:42:56.000 --> 00:43:02.000 Then there's some very straightforward interrelational conduct that Paul prescribes for the church. 00:43:02.000 --> 00:43:05.000 And it's in 1 Timothy 5.1. 00:43:05.000 --> 00:43:07.000 1 Timothy 5.1. 00:43:07.000 --> 00:43:09.000 That's just straightforward. 00:43:09.000 --> 00:43:11.000 This is how you need to do things. 00:43:11.000 --> 00:43:15.000 It says, do not rebuke an older man harshly. 00:43:15.000 --> 00:43:19.000 Exhort him as if he were your father. 00:43:19.000 --> 00:43:24.000 Treat younger men and brothers as brothers, older women as mothers, 00:43:24.000 --> 00:43:27.000 younger women as sisters with absolute purity. 00:43:27.000 --> 00:43:31.000 I remember when I was at the church that I used to work at before, this one. 00:43:31.000 --> 00:43:36.000 There was one man who used to harass me for months on end for about two years 00:43:36.000 --> 00:43:40.000 with really snide remarks that, well just keep cutting, keep cutting. 00:43:40.000 --> 00:43:45.000 Every time he met, he would leave a question mark on my life with his questions. 00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:50.000 And then I was leaving, and so I decided I've had enough. 00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:53.000 And I really gave it to him in a board meeting. 00:43:53.000 --> 00:43:56.000 I said, I've taken this from you for two years. 00:43:56.000 --> 00:43:58.000 Everything I said was right. 00:43:58.000 --> 00:44:02.000 And then I go home and I read the scripture. 00:44:03.000 --> 00:44:06.000 And he was years older than me. 00:44:06.000 --> 00:44:09.000 And now I had to write a letter to him. 00:44:09.000 --> 00:44:12.000 And worse, I had to write the letter. 00:44:12.000 --> 00:44:14.000 Diana's nodding her head. 00:44:14.000 --> 00:44:17.000 Worse, I had to write a letter and write it to the board. 00:44:17.000 --> 00:44:23.000 Because I had spoken harshly to this man in the presence of other board members. 00:44:23.000 --> 00:44:28.000 And I had to say that I may have had a reason for saying what I said, 00:44:28.000 --> 00:44:33.000 and it might be true, but the way I spoke to you is absolutely unbiblical 00:44:33.000 --> 00:44:35.000 or whatever word I used. 00:44:35.000 --> 00:44:38.000 Because it's very prescriptive here. 00:44:38.000 --> 00:44:40.000 Do not rebuke an older man harshly. 00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:42.000 Exhort him as if he were your father. 00:44:42.000 --> 00:44:45.000 Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, 00:44:45.000 --> 00:44:48.000 younger women as sisters with absolute purity. 00:44:48.000 --> 00:44:51.000 And then he goes on to say, give proper recognition to widows in need, 00:44:51.000 --> 00:44:53.000 servants, this is how you treat your masters, 00:44:53.000 --> 00:44:55.000 masters, this is how you treat the servants. 00:44:55.000 --> 00:44:58.000 This is why it's called household text. 00:44:58.000 --> 00:45:00.000 This was, sorry. 00:45:02.000 --> 00:45:04.000 Yeah. 00:45:05.000 --> 00:45:07.000 I forgot you were on the board. 00:45:15.000 --> 00:45:17.000 Thank you. 00:45:27.000 --> 00:45:29.000 Yeah, thank you. 00:45:32.000 --> 00:45:35.000 You're telling me this 15 years later. 00:45:35.000 --> 00:45:39.000 Thank you though. I appreciate it. 00:45:39.000 --> 00:45:42.000 Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm just kidding. 00:45:42.000 --> 00:45:44.000 Thank you, Diana. 00:45:44.000 --> 00:45:46.000 Yeah. 00:45:48.000 --> 00:45:51.000 Any questions before we kind of begin to sum it up? 00:45:51.000 --> 00:45:54.000 Boy, we are early today. What will we do? 00:45:57.000 --> 00:45:59.000 Any questions? 00:46:03.000 --> 00:46:05.000 Yes, I did. 00:46:05.000 --> 00:46:07.000 If I didn't, I'll write you a letter of apology. 00:46:07.000 --> 00:46:09.000 Don't worry. Or you can write one. 00:46:09.000 --> 00:46:13.000 Anyways, guys, the next one is the pain of rebuke. 00:46:13.000 --> 00:46:15.000 The pain of rebuke. 00:46:15.000 --> 00:46:19.000 The pain of rebuke. 00:46:21.000 --> 00:46:23.000 The pain of rebuke. 00:46:23.000 --> 00:46:26.000 2 Corinthians chapter 2, verse 4. 00:46:26.000 --> 00:46:30.000 2 Corinthians 2, 4. 00:46:34.000 --> 00:46:36.000 You know, it's odd, eh? 00:46:36.000 --> 00:46:39.000 Part of the reason I am overweight 00:46:39.000 --> 00:46:42.000 is because every time my dad would discipline me, 00:46:42.000 --> 00:46:44.000 he would take me out for ice cream. 00:46:44.000 --> 00:46:47.000 So you can imagine the amount of discipline I got. 00:46:47.000 --> 00:46:51.000 But every time he disciplined me, 00:46:51.000 --> 00:46:55.000 he'd be okay about whacking me. 00:46:55.000 --> 00:46:59.000 But after he whacks me, he'll ask me why I'm crying, 00:46:59.000 --> 00:47:03.000 which I used to think was a really odd question. 00:47:03.000 --> 00:47:04.000 Why are you crying? 00:47:04.000 --> 00:47:05.000 I wanted to say to him, 00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:07.000 just because of what you did to me just now. 00:47:07.000 --> 00:47:10.000 But then as I would cry, he'd feel really bad. 00:47:10.000 --> 00:47:14.000 And then once the tears were beginning to not roll down, 00:47:14.000 --> 00:47:16.000 he would take me out for ice cream. 00:47:16.000 --> 00:47:18.000 Or a dosa. 00:47:18.000 --> 00:47:21.000 Depending on the extent of the crime, 00:47:21.000 --> 00:47:24.000 the food offered was greater. 00:47:24.000 --> 00:47:29.000 But there's this thing called the pain of rebuke, guys. 00:47:29.000 --> 00:47:31.000 And it's beautiful. 00:47:31.000 --> 00:47:34.000 It must be that way. 00:47:34.000 --> 00:47:36.000 God puts it this way in Hebrews 12. 00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:39.000 I have no pleasure in disciplining you. 00:47:45.000 --> 00:47:50.000 And so in 2 Corinthians 2 verse 4, 00:47:50.000 --> 00:47:54.000 For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart, 00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:55.000 and with many tears, 00:47:55.000 --> 00:47:56.000 not to grieve you, 00:47:56.000 --> 00:47:58.000 but to let you know the depth of my love for you. 00:47:58.000 --> 00:48:00.000 Here's how the message puts it. 00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:01.000 As it turned out, 00:48:01.000 --> 00:48:05.000 there was pain enough just in writing that letter 00:48:05.000 --> 00:48:08.000 more tears than ink on the parchment. 00:48:08.000 --> 00:48:11.000 But I didn't write it to cause pain. 00:48:11.000 --> 00:48:14.000 I wrote it so you would know how much I care, 00:48:14.000 --> 00:48:17.000 or more than care, how much I love you. 00:48:19.000 --> 00:48:22.000 What a cool thing if you can be absolutely confident 00:48:22.000 --> 00:48:27.000 that whenever Jacob corrects, rebukes, admonishes me, 00:48:27.000 --> 00:48:31.000 that he will never do it with the intent of tearing me down or destroying me. 00:48:31.000 --> 00:48:34.000 But he'll do it with sufficient pain later on, 00:48:34.000 --> 00:48:38.000 with sufficient pain even coming to me because he's afraid of how I'll feel. 00:48:38.000 --> 00:48:41.000 And then deliver what I have to say, 00:48:41.000 --> 00:48:44.000 knowing that it's not because of care, it is because of love. 00:48:44.000 --> 00:48:46.000 What if you could be confident of that? 00:48:46.000 --> 00:48:48.000 Some of you are, but not all of you. Why? 00:48:48.000 --> 00:48:51.000 Because perhaps I haven't conveyed it that way. 00:48:54.000 --> 00:48:56.000 Beautiful standards to aspire to. 00:48:56.000 --> 00:48:58.000 As a parent with your children, 00:48:58.000 --> 00:49:01.000 as a house church leader, as elders, as matures, 00:49:01.000 --> 00:49:03.000 this is what authentic families of sacrificial love. 00:49:03.000 --> 00:49:05.000 This is sacrificial love. 00:49:05.000 --> 00:49:08.000 Sacrificial love is not sacrificing stuff you have. 00:49:08.000 --> 00:49:11.000 Sacrificial love is this kind of love. 00:49:11.000 --> 00:49:16.000 We think sacrificial love is giving 80 out of 100 dollars that you possess. 00:49:16.000 --> 00:49:19.000 That is great generosity, and yes, it's sacrificial. 00:49:19.000 --> 00:49:22.000 But the nature of sacrificial love is this. 00:49:22.000 --> 00:49:26.000 This kind of love is very, very hard. 00:49:26.000 --> 00:49:29.000 Because you won't have 100 bucks to give every day, 00:49:29.000 --> 00:49:31.000 but this you can have every day. 00:49:37.000 --> 00:49:39.000 The pain of rebuke. 00:49:39.000 --> 00:49:42.000 Go to 2 Corinthians 7, verse 8 and 9. 00:49:42.000 --> 00:49:45.000 2 Corinthians 7, verse 8 and 9. 00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:48.000 2 Corinthians 7, verse 8 and 9. 00:49:48.000 --> 00:49:51.000 2 Corinthians 7, verse 8 and 9. 00:49:51.000 --> 00:49:54.000 2 Corinthians 7, verse 8 and 9. 00:49:54.000 --> 00:49:56.000 2 Corinthians 8 and 9. 00:50:02.000 --> 00:50:05.000 I'll read it from the NIV, then I'll go to the message. 00:50:05.000 --> 00:50:09.000 Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. 00:50:09.000 --> 00:50:12.000 Though I did regret it, I see that my letter hurt you, 00:50:12.000 --> 00:50:14.000 but only for a little while. 00:50:14.000 --> 00:50:17.000 Yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, 00:50:17.000 --> 00:50:20.000 but because your sorrow has led you to repentance. 00:50:21.000 --> 00:50:25.000 I'll just stick with the NIV. It says it well enough. 00:50:25.000 --> 00:50:29.000 Sometimes it's the only way to deal with things, guys, 00:50:29.000 --> 00:50:32.000 where you cause some sorrow, some pain. 00:50:32.000 --> 00:50:36.000 That's the nature of authentic families. 00:50:36.000 --> 00:50:40.000 But it is caused with such love. 00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:46.000 And to get there, keep going there, keep going there, keep getting there. 00:50:47.000 --> 00:50:52.000 Because families like this, people will yearn to be adopted into. 00:50:57.000 --> 00:51:02.000 Families like this, God will yearn to graft people into. 00:51:06.000 --> 00:51:08.000 Two more and we're done. 00:51:09.000 --> 00:51:11.000 Next one is forgiving offense. 00:51:11.000 --> 00:51:13.000 Forgiving offense. 00:51:13.000 --> 00:51:15.000 Forgiving offense. 00:51:15.000 --> 00:51:17.000 Forgiving offense. 00:51:23.000 --> 00:51:26.000 Sure, things will be done in a family that hurt each other. 00:51:26.000 --> 00:51:30.000 I've done stuff that hurt my mother, done stuff that hurt my sister. 00:51:30.000 --> 00:51:33.000 They've done stuff that I pretended hurt me. 00:51:33.000 --> 00:51:38.000 And so at the end of the day, there will be offense and hurt. 00:51:38.000 --> 00:51:43.000 But here's what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 2 verses 7 to 11. 00:51:43.000 --> 00:51:44.000 He says, 00:51:44.000 --> 00:51:48.000 Don't think that I'm carrying around a list of personal grudges. 00:51:48.000 --> 00:51:54.000 The fact is that I'm joining in with your forgiveness as Christ is with us, guiding us. 00:51:54.000 --> 00:51:59.000 So there may be times where you will offend me or I will offend you. 00:51:59.000 --> 00:52:02.000 But if I carry those personal grudges with me, 00:52:02.000 --> 00:52:06.000 I begin to use that as a filter every time I see you. 00:52:06.000 --> 00:52:09.000 Then this is not a healthy place for you. 00:52:12.000 --> 00:52:14.000 Just think of that, eh? 00:52:14.000 --> 00:52:17.000 You may have done something really offensive. 00:52:17.000 --> 00:52:22.000 You may have done something deliberately disruptive. 00:52:24.000 --> 00:52:29.000 But if that is a filter I am going to use every time you come to the church, 00:52:29.000 --> 00:52:33.000 every time I give you a responsibility, every time I ask of you something, 00:52:33.000 --> 00:52:37.000 if that is a filter I use, then this is such an unhealthy place for you 00:52:37.000 --> 00:52:41.000 because now I have colored you forever in your stay here. 00:52:41.000 --> 00:52:44.000 And that cannot be. We cannot be like that. 00:52:44.000 --> 00:52:47.000 We cannot be like that. I must not be like that. 00:52:51.000 --> 00:52:53.000 I must not be like that. 00:52:58.000 --> 00:53:01.000 That's why it makes sense when Paul says, 00:53:02.000 --> 00:53:04.000 don't think I am carrying around a list of personal grudges. 00:53:04.000 --> 00:53:07.000 Let's go to 2 Corinthians 2, 7 to 11. 00:53:07.000 --> 00:53:12.000 2 Corinthians 2, 7 to 11. 00:53:14.000 --> 00:53:17.000 And he had reason to be upset with what had happened there 00:53:17.000 --> 00:53:19.000 because someone was sleeping with his stepmother. 00:53:19.000 --> 00:53:21.000 It could be the continuation of that story. 00:53:21.000 --> 00:53:22.000 But here is what he says, 00:53:22.000 --> 00:53:25.000 Now instead you ought to forgive and comfort him 00:53:25.000 --> 00:53:29.000 so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 00:53:29.000 --> 00:53:32.000 I urge you therefore to reaffirm your love for him. 00:53:32.000 --> 00:53:35.000 The reason I wrote to you was to see if you would stand the test 00:53:35.000 --> 00:53:37.000 and be obedient in everything. 00:53:37.000 --> 00:53:40.000 If you forgive anyone, I forgive him also. 00:53:40.000 --> 00:53:42.000 And what I have forgiven, if there was anything to forgive, 00:53:42.000 --> 00:53:44.000 I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake. 00:53:44.000 --> 00:53:50.000 Beautifully, I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake. 00:53:50.000 --> 00:53:55.000 And that should be my statement that, let's say, Sheldon has done something obnoxious. 00:53:55.000 --> 00:54:01.000 I have forgiven, now that I think of it, there are three or four different things. 00:54:01.000 --> 00:54:07.000 I have forgiven you in the sight of Christ for our sake 00:54:07.000 --> 00:54:10.000 so that Satan does not take advantage. 00:54:10.000 --> 00:54:16.000 Guys, the amount of hurt caused in churches to people is immense. 00:54:16.000 --> 00:54:20.000 I told you about that book that, I know I've said it before, 00:54:20.000 --> 00:54:23.000 but it's worth repeating just for the sake of whoever will hear this. 00:54:23.000 --> 00:54:25.000 There's a book written by two Canadian authors. 00:54:25.000 --> 00:54:29.000 It's called Let Us Pray, and it is spelled P-R-E-Y. 00:54:29.000 --> 00:54:33.000 P-R-E-Y. Let Us Pray. 00:54:33.000 --> 00:54:38.000 And it is for leaders and pastors. 00:54:38.000 --> 00:54:43.000 And it all starts with me holding a grudge that filters, 00:54:43.000 --> 00:54:48.000 becomes a filter through which I now see you for two, three, four, five years. 00:54:48.000 --> 00:54:52.000 And it doesn't matter how much you have changed, how much God has forgiven, 00:54:52.000 --> 00:54:55.000 how things have changed in sight. I refuse to see that. 00:54:55.000 --> 00:55:07.000 And who's taking the advantage? Satan. 00:55:07.000 --> 00:55:12.000 Any questions? I'm done. I'll just use one more scripture to wrap it up. 00:55:12.000 --> 00:55:19.000 But any questions on all that we've said? 00:55:19.000 --> 00:55:25.000 Go ahead, Nick. 00:55:25.000 --> 00:55:32.000 1 Thessalonians 5.14. 00:55:32.000 --> 00:55:38.000 Any questions, guys? 00:55:38.000 --> 00:55:41.000 Okay. 00:55:41.000 --> 00:55:49.000 Okay. I just want to end with, if this is what we are building, 00:55:49.000 --> 00:55:53.000 if this is how God wants us to relate to each other, 00:55:53.000 --> 00:55:55.000 if this is what authentic families should look like, 00:55:55.000 --> 00:55:59.000 then I want to end with what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 6. 00:55:59.000 --> 00:56:02.000 And he puts it this way. I'll read it out three times. 00:56:02.000 --> 00:56:05.000 Please hear it before you read it. 00:56:05.000 --> 00:56:11.000 We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, or Acts 29ians. 00:56:11.000 --> 00:56:17.000 So we have spoken freely to you and opened wide our hearts to you. 00:56:17.000 --> 00:56:25.000 We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. 00:56:25.000 --> 00:56:33.000 As a fair exchange, I speak as to my children. Open wide your hearts also. 00:56:33.000 --> 00:56:37.000 The point Paul is trying to make is, hey, listen, this is the standard I've set. 00:56:37.000 --> 00:56:40.000 This is how I want to be. I'm opening my heart. 00:56:40.000 --> 00:56:45.000 Now will you open your heart also so that an authentic family can be built? 00:56:45.000 --> 00:56:50.000 Because if fathers open their hearts to their children 00:56:50.000 --> 00:56:53.000 and children still refuse to open their hearts to the fathers, 00:56:53.000 --> 00:56:57.000 then there's not much that can be done. 00:56:57.000 --> 00:57:00.000 But if fathers open their hearts to the children, 00:57:00.000 --> 00:57:04.000 the Bible says then the children will open their hearts to the fathers. 00:57:04.000 --> 00:57:07.000 Paul is saying to the Corinthians that I've done this. 00:57:07.000 --> 00:57:10.000 Why are you withholding yourself? 00:57:10.000 --> 00:57:15.000 Why don't you open wide your heart so that what God wants to do may be achieved? 00:57:15.000 --> 00:57:18.000 That's the note I want to end on. I'm reading twice more. 00:57:18.000 --> 00:57:21.000 St Corinthians 6, 11-13. 00:57:21.000 --> 00:57:26.000 We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and have opened wide our hearts to you. 00:57:27.000 --> 00:57:29.000 We are not withholding. 00:57:29.000 --> 00:57:31.000 Guys, here's what I'm saying to you. 00:57:31.000 --> 00:57:35.000 I intend to not withhold my affection from you. 00:57:35.000 --> 00:57:43.000 I intend to aspire and at some point be able to reach this standard that Christ has set. 00:57:43.000 --> 00:57:48.000 I intend you to hold me to it and occasionally ask me whether I am, 00:57:48.000 --> 00:57:55.000 if you think I'm not treating you correctly based on this standard. 00:57:55.000 --> 00:58:03.000 And if that can be done by me and then leaders and then elders and matures in this church, 00:58:03.000 --> 00:58:07.000 then we can create what God wants because it is his family, 00:58:07.000 --> 00:58:13.000 the Church of the Living God, the foundation of truth and pillar of truth. 00:58:13.000 --> 00:58:16.000 So if that is the attitude that I come with, 00:58:16.000 --> 00:58:21.000 if that is the attitude that Jeevan and Derek and May and Heidi have to operate in, 00:58:22.000 --> 00:58:27.000 and Dan Owen, bless him, if that is the standard that is set, 00:58:30.000 --> 00:58:36.000 then we have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. 00:58:36.000 --> 00:58:41.000 We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. 00:58:41.000 --> 00:58:44.000 I'm not saying you are. I'm just saying Paul is saying to the Corinthians. 00:58:44.000 --> 00:58:51.000 As a fair exchange, I speak to you as to my children. Open wide your hearts also. 00:58:51.000 --> 00:58:55.000 Why? Not because you want to reciprocate love, 00:58:55.000 --> 00:58:59.000 but because before that, something much, much greater, 00:58:59.000 --> 00:59:03.000 you want to build the family of God here on earth. 00:59:03.000 --> 00:59:06.000 And secondly, you want to reciprocate love. 00:59:06.000 --> 00:59:09.000 First, we do it because he is building something beautiful. 00:59:09.000 --> 00:59:13.000 Second, we do it because it is natural to reciprocate love. 00:59:15.000 --> 00:59:16.000 Any questions? 00:59:16.000 --> 00:59:21.000 Thank God for these really high standards he wants for what he is building. 00:59:21.000 --> 00:59:23.000 He must not settle for anything less. 00:59:23.000 --> 00:59:26.000 This is what an authentic family of sacrificial love looks like. 00:59:26.000 --> 00:59:29.000 The nature of sacrificial love is this. 00:59:29.000 --> 00:59:32.000 The giving is just a small part of it. 00:59:32.000 --> 00:59:41.000 Or driving someone to Surrey because you need to drop Don home is sacrificial. 00:59:45.000 --> 00:59:47.000 But this is different. 00:59:47.000 --> 00:59:49.000 Any questions? 00:59:51.000 --> 00:59:53.000 Okay, let's pray. 00:59:55.000 --> 00:59:57.000 Father, could you please show us how to pray? 01:00:03.000 --> 01:00:07.000 Father, I'm just going to take some time, not because I finished early, 01:00:07.000 --> 01:00:11.000 but because there needs to be a good response to this. 01:00:21.000 --> 01:00:28.000 So Father, if any of the leaders of the family groups or house groups 01:00:28.000 --> 01:00:30.000 or whatever you want to call them meet, 01:00:30.000 --> 01:00:32.000 if any of them want to come and pray into this, 01:00:32.000 --> 01:00:34.000 they are welcome to come up and pray into it, Father. 01:00:34.000 --> 01:00:36.000 And then I'll end. 01:00:39.000 --> 01:00:41.000 I have to find a term for those groups, Father, 01:00:41.000 --> 01:00:47.000 that is absolutely comfortable for us and for you and for the world.